You Must Meet My Wife
| next = |}} You Must Meet My Wife is the 136th episode of Desperate Housewives. Plot Bree comforts Juanita after hitting the girl with her car.]] Keith Watson helps Juanita Solis with her bike, and Bree watches them from her bedroom window. She can't help but feel attracted to her new contractor. She then remembers being told all sorts of things about sex (her grandmother had said it was a woman's burden; the local priest had said it was sinful; and her teacher had hinted that it was unhealthy), but never what she needed to know the most: how to fight the sexual urges. Bree comes outside, wanting to go to the bank, and Keith stops her in her tracks, in order to show her some new wooden materials he plans on using to remodel the house. Bree is incomfortable and goes, but as she drives away she won't stop staring at Keith's behind, and doesn't notice Juanita behind her. She hits the little girl with her car, and is worried beyond sick. At the hospital, Gabrielle has a little chat with both Bree and Andrew, asking them why it is that they seem to want to kill off every Juanita Solis in the planet. Bree tells her son maybe God is punishing them, but Andrew suggest that maybe God is punishing the Solises, and they're only doing God's work. He also takes the opportunity to say to his mother that he knows she was looking at Keith's bottom, which is why she hit Juanita with her car. He then proceeds to tell her Keith is way too young for her. works half-naked around Bree's kitchen.]] Bree comes home to find Keith shirtless in her kitchen. She gasps at the sight of his naked upper body, and he notices her state of shock and puts his shirt back on. He asks about Juanita's condition, and Bree says she's fine. He realizes he's put his shirt on backwards, and when he takes it off again, a startled Bree drops her groceries to the floor, and he thinks she is just going through a rough patch because of what recently happened and hugs her, trying to comfort Bree. She feels even more uncomfortable than ever, and tells Keith she's gonna have to let him go. He is taken by surprise, and she gives him lame excuses as to why he can't work for her anymore. He goes away, upset. Later, while Bree is doing yard work, Mrs. McCluskey comes over and brings her a rake she borrowed from Orson a while back, and asks where her contractor is, to which Bree replies she had to let him go because he was a distraction. She is surprised to know Karen found him attractive, and confides in her that she hoped someday she might get over those sexual urges, because she can't afford to make a fool of herself anymore whenever she's around someone she finds sexually appealing. Bree changes her mind and goes to see Keith at a local pub, and finds him playing pool by himself. She wants to hire him back, but he is reluctant to go back. He then tells her a story about a friend of his who bought a Maserati, despite being warned otherwise by Keith, and now the car is a real pain, always in the shop. He compares Bree to a Maserati. Bree says she's not a Maserati, she's a family Sedan with beije interiors, who's going through a divorce. She says Keith brought some light into her home, with his bright remodeling ideas and his spunk, and she needs him to help fix her home, so she can help herself fix her life. Keith is still not sure, and Bree realizes she has indeed made a fool of herself, and agrees that maybe she is a Maserati. She leaves, and after she gets into her car, she hits Keith with it, as he was coming after her to accept the job offer again. He jokes that she should consider jogging from place to place. He wants to come back to working with her, and Bree asks him if he's sure of it, because the boss is a bit on the nutty side, but he says he likes a challenge. Gabrielle Gabrielle is called up by the hospital's nurse, Madeline, who asks her several questions regarding Juanita, including how old she was when she was adopted. Gabrielle laughs it off, saying she understands it's hard to believe she could give birth to a girl like Juanita, but she did. The nurse is surprised, because Carlos and Gaby's blood types couldn't mesh and originate Juanita's blood type, and then subtly proceeds to believe Gaby cheated on her husband, which leaves Gabrielle very upset, because she has been nothing but faithful to her husband... or has she? In a fit of rage, she tears off the nurse's form, and leaves. Later, when Susan comes to see Juanita and brings a big card her class designed for her, Gaby calls her aside and asks her if she remembers anything from a ski trip they took eight years before, particularly anything about Gaby's involvement with a rich french man. Apparently, Susan left an inebriated Gabrielle flirting with the man at the bar, and when Gaby came back to the room, the sun was already coming up. Gabrielle is horrified: she realizes now Juanita might be the french man's daughter. Once Carlos comes home from his business trip, and after visiting his daughter at the hospital, Gabrielle decides to put a new plan of hers into action. When her husband lies down to sleep, she pretends she's still asleep, and rolls on top of him. There, she kisses him, and he becomes randy. He starts making out with her, and she then pushes him back, apparently unbeknownst to what was going on, as if she has just woken up. Carlos tells her she was making out with him, and Gaby says her sexomnia has come up again. She has a condition that's similar to sleepwalking, only it drives her to commit sexual acts to whomever she lies next to. Carlos takes it lightly and still wants to engage in sexual acts with her, but she claims she's too tired... and ashamed. Clearly, she's using her fake sexomnia to eventually justify sleeping with the french man. notices the ripped page in the form.]] At the hospital, nurse Madeline asks Carlos to sign the same form she had while questioning his wife, and he notices the front page has been ripped off. He asks what that was about, and Madeline says his wife has got a bit of a temper. Gaby looks at them from a distance, and sees Carlos asking the nurse what happened. She runs away, and her husband sees and follows her. She is stopped by paramedics wheeling a corpse away, and Carlos asks her what is going on. Gaby says she knows Juanita can't possibly be his daughter because she doesn't have his blood type, and even though she doesn't remember sleeping with the french guy, she must have. Carlos realizes the time has come to tell her the truth, and takes her to an empty room where he comes clean about Juanita's origins, as his wife breaks down in his arms. Paul As Lynette, Karen and Andrew try to comfort Bree at the hospital, Paul approaches them, and they are all surprised to see him. Paul says he has come over to check on Juanita, because that's what neighbors do, and he suggests that they join him in a prayer circle. Afterwards, he leaves, saying he's waiting for someone, and leaves his neighbors wondering about his weirdness. Later, as Bree is informing Karen, Bob and Lee about Juanita's condition, they all witness a young, blonde woman arriving on the lane carrying some luggage and a fishbowl with a goldfish in it. She accidentaly trips and spills the fish from the bowl to the street. The neighbors approach her, and she tells them she came to Wisteria Lane looking for Paul Young. Karen asks her if they're friends, and Paul comes up from behind them, referring to the woman as "Beth", and helps her with the luggage, saying he expected her to arrive a long time before. He then tells the neighbors "Well, I see you've all met my wife", leaving them blown away. During their first meal together, Paul and Beth seem as though they don't have much to talk about. They make small talk. She compliments the meal he prepared, and he tells her he wanted everything to be special. Since the prison didn't allow conjugal visits, this is kinda like their wedding night. He's surprised when Beth tells him she can't commit to him sexually right away, as they don't really know each other all that well. He concurs with her, though reluctantly. is given some sexy, new underwear, much to her surprise and displeasure.]] However, some other night, he brings her a set of sensual lingerie he bought specifically for her, and she is apparently outraged, as she can't understand why he would think she'd wear something like that. Paul is even more upset, and he grabs the letters she sent him during the time he spent in jail. He forces her to read those letters, in which she went on about how much she wanted him to caress her and make love to her. He asks if she wrote those, and she tells him it was a fantasy, she never expected it to be real. Paul gets even angrier, asking her what she expected, to which she replies she didn't think he'd ever get out of jail. This takes him by surprise, and she realizes the mistake she's done. She says she didn't mean to say it, it just came out. Paul then tells her he realizes she has some issues, after all, she did marry a man in jail for murder. Clearly, she's a very troubled young woman. But he plans on helping her work out those issues, as he is a very patient man. However, he then says he won't be patient forever, and she should remember that. He kisses her in the head and walks away, leaving her very concerned. Susan teaches Susan how to vacuum in a sexier manner.]] Susan is working on her first Internet show, cleaning her house in a sexy lingerie. However, she isn't doing a very good job at it, as she keeps trying to cover up her flesh as much as she can. Maxine stops by and she pauses the broadcast, and hears her landlady/"madame" tell her Susan's show is pretty boring, and she needs to let loose a little more. Maxine walks around the appartment, showing Susan the different sexy moves she can use to appeal to the viewer. She then coaches her up close and personal, by having her swing her hips a lot more whilst vacuuming. Susan gets the jist of it, and appears to be having fun. The following morning, when Mike and MJ leave for work and school in the morning, Susan tells her husband the first class she's got to teach isn't until 11 pm, so she'll continue working on her jewelry for a while. shows off to her web cam.]]He's happy to hear she's so bent on getting them some extra money. After he leaves, she strips down and starts showing off to the webcam. Mike shows up yet again, as he's forgotten his thermus, and spots his wife acting weird in her undergarments. Susan tells him she was cleaning the house, and the air conditioner stopped working so she undressed, as it was getting really hot. Mike is turned on by her, and starts undressing too. He plans on having sex with her and starts to hug and fondle her, and Susan is horrified, because the cam is still turned on. She tries to turn off the computer and manages to do so with her foot, immediately logging off, without her husband even noticing. Mike comes home with flowers for his wife, because he called to ask for an extension in the truck payment and was surprised to hear she had already paid for it. He tells her she's wonderful, working as a teacher and on her jewelry, and still finding the time to make their house a home. Susan begins to feel a bit guilty regarding her risqué side job, which she's trying to keep from her husband at all costs. When Maxine comes over the next day and pays her, she tells Susan she's getting pretty good at the job, to which she responds that she's getting pretty good at lying to her husband too. She then looks at the flowers he gave her, filled with remorse. Lynette and Renee comes home from work feeling ill.]] Penny is doing her homework in the kitchen and Renee is talking to her husband, from whom she's now separated, saying that she is entitled to half of eveything his money bought, including his lover's cheap implants. Lynette is horrified to hear her talking like that around her daughter, but Renee says Penny's going to start dating soon enough, and it's better if she knows right away what men are all about. She then asks her what auntie Renee has taught her about marriage, and Penny says "Never sign a pre-nup". Tom comes home, feeling sick, and Lynette is surprised to see him back from work. Her husband tells her he's not feeling good again, so he's just going to lie down on the couch and watch TV. She asks him to go to the store first, and he says he's feeling pretty bad, so she should go instead. Lynette says she's too busy handling five children and a useless house guest, so if he's not gonna go to the doctor and get better, he should just help out around the house. A very upset Tom tells her he'll go to the doctor the next day. After he's gone, Renee warns Lynette that the two of them were starting to sound a lot like her and her husband Doug before they broke up. Lynette says they're always like that, but her friend insists the she and Doug were always like that too. The following day, Tom comes home from the doctors, and tells Lynette to sit down because he's got something serious to say, and he's not sure of what her reaction will be: he's got postpartum depression. Lynette is skeptical, and starts making fun of him, because she thinks postpartum depression is merely for women who have just given birth. Tom tells her he was just as surprised, but he's got all the symptoms and apparently it's a common threat for men his age. He hands her a pamphlet explaining everything, but she still won't buy it. Tom becomes frustrated, and Lynette tells him he was supposed to go to the doctor so he could be of some use around the house, not so that he could get even more sleep and resting, as is prescribed to heal the illness. Renee is eavesdropping on their conversation. The following morning, Lynette comes downstairs with the dirty laundry, and finds Renee sitting at the kitchen table in her nightgown. She tells her "Good morning", to which she replies the same, only yawning in the meantime. Lynette asks her if she had trouble sleeping last night, and Renee says she was up all night talking to Tom about his problems. Lynette isn't very comfortable with that, and Renee explains that she was just offering him a shoulder during a rough time. Lynette tells her that she should leave their marriage alone. meets Tom and Renee at the restaurant.]]Later that day, she comes home with groceries and her baby, and Porter tells her Tom and Renee went out for dinner at a restaurant, and they said Lynette was welcome to join them if she wanted to. Lynette says she wants to, and leaves her baby at the care of Porter, even though he claimed he had to go out that night. She meets them at the restaurant, and sees them having what looks like another hearfelt talk. Tom tells his wife he was just telling Renee he feels like sometimes she won't listen to him, and it's very frustrating. Lynette calls Renee to the side, and tells her she knows very well what she's doing, she needs a hobby so she's trying to butt in on her marriage so that she can make it all better later on, but she doesn't have the right to do so. Renee is offended by this, and tells Lynette that there is a man in the other room who is feeling depressed and his wife isn't willing to help him, and that's not her doing. Lynette gets a wake up call from all of this. Back at home, Lynette comes into her room and asks her husband if he's allright. He thinks she'll just kid him around again, but she says she read the pamphlet and it actually makes sense. So she's presenting him with two options: they either stay up and talk about his problems, or they have fun in a sexual fashion. Tom is turned on by his wife, but he tells her he'd rather talk nonetheless, to which she agress. Trivia *In its original broadcast, this episode was watched by 13.234 million viewers. TV Ratings *Darcy Rose Byrnes' credit moved from her previous spot between Joshua Logan Moore and Madison De La Garza, to under that of Mason Vale Cotton. It's the first time during a season that a person's credit switches positions whilst still being listed in the same billing category (in this case, "also starring"). *This is the first episode to credit Tuc Watkins (Bob Hunter) as a series regular. It also marks the first time in a season that all "starring" castmembers aren't billed in every single episode. Apparently, this year only those who actually appear in the episodes are credited. *Joshua Logan Moore (Parker Scavo) is absent from this episode, and is therefore not credited. *The title of this episode comes from a song of the same name in the Stephen Sondheim musical A Little Night Music. References Category:Episodes Category:Season Seven